Host families will expect you to try to be a close part of the family and to take part in activities. Host families in the U.S. are very interactive and if you spend a lot of time by yourself, your host family may think something is wrong. It is important for you to tell someone when you feel sad, lonely, and shy, or have any feelings of uneasiness. Even if you are not used to talking about how you feel, it is important to do so because interaction and open communication are important in U.S. host families.
Excessive communication with family and friends in your native country will have a negative impact not only on you, but your host family as well. For you, it can slow your adaptation to life as a U.S. teenager; it makes you turn to friends and family members back home instead of seeking out new friends, building relationships with host family members, and adapting to a new country. This can be confusing as you try to integrate yourself into your new life in the U.S.
It’s best to avoid activities like spending excessive time on social media, planning visits from parent(s)/guardian(s) and spending more time with your friends than your host family. Focusing on such activities can make your host family feel as if you don’t like or appreciate them, which may hurt their feelings and be detrimental to your relationship with them. Your host family may view these activities as a rejection of their family and their family’s efforts to welcome you into their home, regardless of your intentions. It can also make them feel inadequate and wonder if they made the right choice in hosting you.
Visits from your parent(s)/guardian(s) can be very disruptive to your exchange. Not only can they compromise the effort you put into your entire experience, visits from your parent(s)/guardian(s) can also be expensive to your host family. Your host family may feel compelled to make your parent(s)/guardian(s) feel welcome by providing food and entertainment. Your host family has chosen to host YOU for the year, not your parent(s)/guardian(s) or friends. They have opened their hearts and home to you alone, so we encourage you to do your best to avoid behaviors that could send them the message that you would rather be back home than in their home.
If you find you are having trouble limiting your communication with friends and family in your home country, or they are contacting you too often, discuss the issue with your host parents and/or liaison. They can help you decide to limit communication, which will satisfy you, your parent(s)/guardian(s), AND your host family.
Please and Thank you
You will often hear these words often during your time in the U.S., and not just at the dinner table.
The majority of U.S. Americans say “please” when making almost any request, and “thank you” whenever someone helps them or gives them the information or item they need. Using “please” and “thank you” is polite, and an indication of equality, a value most U.S. Americans share. Practice using these respectful words every day. It will go a long way toward making a good impression.
Boundaries
Remember that you are joining your host family as a new family member. Be sure that you maintain appropriate boundaries with your host family members. AFS Participants and host family members should always communicate, understand, and respect each other’s preferences for personal space and privacy. Be sure to inform your host family what is appropriate for you (based on your own preferences and cultural norms) and what you are most comfortable with. Romantic relationships between students and their host siblings will likely lead to a host family change. We see the relationship between you and your host sibling as truly a sibling relationship. If you feel you may be developing romantic feelings for a host sibling, or they for you, please contact your liaison immediately.
Gender Roles and Equity
The U.S. is a country founded on the ideals of equality for all. Thus, women and men are viewed as equals. In many host families in the U.S., the mother manages the home and is an authoritative figure. Gender roles in your U.S. host family may be similar or different from your home country. Regardless, it will be important to talk to your host parents about what they expect from you.