As your exchange experience comes to a close and you start to think about returning home, reuniting with friends and relatives who you have not seen for months, tasting food you haven’t eaten since leaving the your home country and eagerly telling stories of your time abroad, you may feel excited about the trip home but also a bit nervous and apprehensive. You will find you have changed over the course of the program and may be concerned about how people at home will react to these changes. You may also feel guilty expressing excitement about returning home in front of your host family. It can be overwhelming to consider saying goodbye to the host family and friends you have grown so close to and slipping right back into the life you left behind, can come with some challenges.
At the beginning of your exchange experience you experienced the cultural adjustment process with the highs and lows most exchange students experience as they adjust to life in a new family, school, community and country. One stage of this process is culture shock. Culture Shock is a term that describes the disorientation and adaptation that takes place when you begin living in a new environment. Among other things, symptoms can include fatigue, frustration, homesickness, and feelings of displacement.
Returning home is often accompanied by very similar feelings, as you readjust to life back home! This is called Reverse Culture Shock.
Culture shock can be characterized as the expected confrontation with the unfamiliar. Reentry shock as the unexpected confrontation with the familiar.
The reverse culture shock W-curve was developed by John and Jeanne Gullahorn. Upon arrival in the "home" culture, the returnee experiences a "honeymoon" period where all that is grand about home seems to shine through. Visits with old friends and family are refreshing, and you may notice some exciting changes. The honeymoon period doesn't last long, though, as cultural differences and the stresses of reentry continue to mount. For people not expecting reentry stress, the challenges can vary in severity. As returnees cope with the cultural differences of their home culture and manage the logistical tasks, they climb up the slope of re-adaptation and again regain their emotional equilibrium. As with initial culture shock, the duration of this phenomenon varies from person to person, but the phenomenon itself is prevalent among those who have spent a significant time abroad.
Almost all students experience reverse culture shock to some degree. For some it is minor, and for others, it is a significant part of their return process. Here is some information that we hope will help answer your questions about this experience.
Why does reverse culture shock occur?
- People and places in the home country may have remained much the same and the AFS student has changed substantially. They now have a different perspective or lens through which to see and experience things, and what they see through this new lens may be jarring to them. On the flip side, some people and places may have changed, and these unexpected changes can be disconcerting.
- People may not be as interested in hearing about the exchange experience as the student is in sharing it with them. AFSers may have difficulty conveying their experiences to friends and family from home and get frustrated.
- Students may not expect to have trouble re-adjusting to life back home and they are unprepared for the impact of this process.
An awareness of the feelings and behaviors most commonly associated with reverse culture shock can help students and host families prepare for their own experience. Knowing what to expect and knowing that certain feelings are normal can make the experience less stressful and more manageable.
How can I expect to feel before departure?
- Excitement to be going home.
- Sadness that the host family is making plans beyond your stay.
- Withdrawal from the host family—it may seem easier to say goodbye if the feelings of closeness are less intense.
- Confusion about why the host family may be pulling away emotionally.
How will I feel once I am home?
- There may be a Honeymoon period initially when returning home, seeing people you have missed.
- You may have difficulty assimilating back into your own culture.
- Homesickness for the U.S. Missing friends and family from the U.S.
- Tendency to compare everything to the host country. Home country friends, and family may not appreciate these comparisons.
- Feelings that you have changed, but people expect you to be the same.
- Questioning interests that defined you before the experience abroad.
- Lack of focus on what to do instead/next.
- Feelings that no one understands what you are going through.
Note: While these are examples of common emotions and behaviors, they are not a definitive or exhaustive list. Students may experience a wide variety of feelings related to their departure.
Coping Strategies
The following are some suggested coping strategies to consider both before and after you return home, to help prepare for the challenges that re-entry presents.
Coping strategies while you are still on program:
- Recognition and awareness of the typical stages of reverse culture shock, understand that your behavior may be affected by reverse culture shock.
- Consider how you dealt with culture shock upon arrival in the host country and employ the same strategies you did then, for example, self-care in whatever forms it takes for you.
- Students and host families should communicate openly about the inevitability of the student’s departure.
- Open discussion about the feelings and emotions around departure is encouraged.
- When making plans beyond the program, acknowledge that it may be difficult for the other party to hear about them.
- Take some time for introspection, consider how you have learned, changed, and grown from the experience.
- Compare both cultures; for students it can be helpful to consider what aspects of the host culture you would like to take home with you.
- Bring closure to your experience, say “goodbye” and “thank you," make plans for continuing your relationships.
- Discuss expectations for your return home and whether or not they may be realistic.
- Talk to an AFS volunteer for assistance through this process.
Coping strategies when you get home:
- Be patient with yourself, adjustment takes time.
- Realize that people may not be as interested in your experiences as you are, be sure to express interest in others’ lives as well.
- Give yourself permission to relax, rest, absorb, and really think about your time abroad.
- Stay busy and active, pick-up old interests or pursue new ones you discovered while abroad.
- Connect with other AFS students who may be going through a similar adjustment. If there is an AFS alumni group near you, join in!
- Become an AFS volunteer and get involved with your local area team.
- Share your perspectives and expertise with community and school groups interested in learning about the U.S., American culture, or English language.
- Encourage your family to host an AFS exchange student.
- Find ways to continue developing skills or interests you started building while abroad.
- Be a mentor for others who are planning to study abroad or are currently abroad.
- Find ways to be an Active Global Citizen and take action in your community.
Remember, returning home, and the process of re-settling in after a return, is part of the intercultural learning process. One that we hope will continue long after the program ends!