It can be difficult handling new situations within your home culture but, in a culture that is new to you, such a situation can seem even more confusing. By presenting you with some legal and
cultural rules of the U.S., we hope to help you make informed decisions when confronted with
sexual harassment, alcohol, and other drugs.
In any situation you may encounter during your stay in the U.S., it is important to keep in mind
that you should not compromise your personal moral values while you are here on the AFS
program. While it is important for an exchange student to be open-minded, adventurous, and
accepting of the host culture, this does not mean you should ignore everything you have learned
in your home culture. It is always a good idea to observe the behavior of those around you, then
follow what you have learned concerning what is right and what is wrong.
The best advice AFS can recommend regarding issues of personal safety is:
• Get to know the host culture through questions, dialogue, and discussion with your host family,
peers, and the AFS local contacts.
• Take seriously any concerns expressed by your host family, school, and AFS volunteers, and follow
their advice.
• Do not ignore your instincts or feel that you have to compromise your own personal values and
beliefs. These are valuable resources in making decisions about what to do.
• Read all the safety tips articles and take personal responsibility for making smart choices that will
keep you safe and healthy.
Know the Rules to Keep Yourself Safe
Rule 1: Don't Go Out Alone
Remember that if you can avoid situations that put you at risk in the first place, you’re already one step ahead. There is safety in numbers and this rule is not just for little kids; it applies to everyone. We are always safer if we take a friend, host sister, or host brother.
Rule 2: Always Tell an Adult Where You’re Going
Never ever go anywhere with someone you don’t know. This includes accepting rides and babysitting for anyone without getting information about the family first. Leave a telephone number and an address with your family before you go. Letting someone know where you’ll be at all times is smart.
Rule 3: It's Your Body
During your exchange year, you will face a lot of situations that put you in uncomfortable spots. You will constantly have to make decisions for yourself, and you will be faced with peer pressure about everything from who your friends are male or female to drugs and sex. You have the right to reject unwanted and inappropriate attention such as teasing, touching, and bullying. If someone anyone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say no.
Rule 4: Say NO if You Feel Threatened or Uncomfortable and Tell a Trusted Adult
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Listen to your intuition and follow your best judgement. Just because your friends are making bad decisions doesn't mean you have too. Have the confidence to say NO if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable about anything. And remember, it is never too late for you to tell an adult if anything is bothering you.
If you’re ever faced with a risky situation or get into trouble, your host family and friends will know where
to begin looking for you.
Certain signs of affection or physical contact that may be typical for your host family may make you feel
uncomfortable, as physical boundaries and "normal" signs of affection differ from culture to culture. For
example, it is common for a participant from France to greet someone with a kiss on each cheek. In
contrast, a participant from Japan, who may typically greet someone with a slight bow may be
uncomfortable with or misinterpret such physical contact. Furthermore, while your host family members
may feel comfortable giving each other a foot, back or shoulder massage after a long day at work, tough
sports or dance practice, etc., you should NOT request from, nor should your host parents or siblings
request from or give to you, any type of massage, in order to avoid any possible misunderstandings and/ or discomfort.
Whether it is peer pressure about sex, drugs, or doing something that you know is wrong, be strong and stand your ground. Don't be afraid to make your feelings known.
Sensitive Situations
If you find yourself dealing with a sensitive situation, including, but not limited to, any of the
issues addressed in this article, it is important that you share this information with your
liaison, even if you are apprehensive about others’ reactions and would prefer to keep the
situation to yourself. AFS liaisons and staff undergo training so that they are well-equipped to support you under such circumstances.
Please contact your liaison immediately if you are or think you might be a victim of any kind of exploitation or abuse or have a concern about anything that may affect your personal safety or well-being. AFS liaisons have the resources and discretion to provide or obtain the appropriate support to assist you and find the best path forward.
Sexual Safety
Some participants may enter into a romantic relationship while on program and/or may consider have a sexual encounter with someone. While having a sexual relationship can be a wonderful experience, we have found that it can also be overwhelming to participants, detract from their AFS experience and can cause tension with host parents. If you wish to engage in sexual activity while on program, please educate yourself about how to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If you are not comfortable talking about these topics with your host parent, speak to your school counselor or another trusted adult.
For more information about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STIs), and other issues, go to
https://advocatesforyouth.org/ or http://www.iwannaknow.org/ for answers to your questions about teen sexual health and sexually transmitted infections.
Life Planning Education, Advocates for Youth, Washington DC
Teen Pregnancy
The teen years should NOT be about pregnancy, parenting, and childcare. The National Campaign
to Prevent Teen Pregnancy interviewed people who became 'teen parents' to see what they
would say to others about teen pregnancy. The teen parents offered the following tips:
• Thinking "it won't happen to me" is unwise; if you don't protect yourself, it probably will. Sex is
serious. Make a plan.
• Just because you think "everyone is doing it" doesn't mean they are. Some are, some aren't — and
some are lying.
• There are a lot of good reasons to say "no, not yet." Protecting your feelings is one of them.
• You're in charge of your own life. Don't let anyone pressure you into having sex.
• You can always say "no" — even if you've said, "yes" before.
• Carrying a condom is just being smart — it doesn't mean you're pushy or easy.
• If you think birth control "ruins the mood," consider what a pregnancy test will do to it.
• If you're drunk or high, you CANNOT make good decisions about sex. Do NOT do something you
might not remember or might really regret.
• Sex will NOT make someone "yours."
• A baby will NOT make the other person stay in a relationship with you.
• Not ready to be someone's parent? It's simple: Use protection every time or don't have sex.