Boundaries of personal space and “normal” signs of affection vary greatly across cultures. Respect for boundaries is important because you and your host family may be accustomed to different cultural norms in this regard.
AFS participants and host family members should communicate, understand, and respect each other’s preferences for personal space and privacy. For example, host families should make sure that participants are given ample privacy for bathroom use, showering, and sleeping, and participants should not enter the parent’s/s’ bedroom without knocking or first asking permission.
It is important to recognize that certain signs of affection or physical contact that may be typical for your host family might make you uncomfortable and, in such cases, you must speak up and let them know. Similarly, respect any physical boundaries that members of your host family may establish with you.
We recognize that sometimes it can be difficult to determine what is appropriate behavior within the host family versus your family back home. The following information, that has also been shared with host families, will help you establish healthy boundaries around physical and verbal interactions between you and adult members of your host family, as well as any adult in the community, regardless of how you interact with your family back home. If you encounter any of these behaviors with adults in your host family or elsewhere, tell them to stop/remove yourself from the situation and reach out to your liaison or another trusted adult to talk through the situation.
Inappropriate Physical Interactions
Adults should not ask you to:
- Sit on their lap
- Wrestle with you
- Give you a piggyback ride
- Tickle you
- Give you a massage or ask to you to give them one
- Show affection to you while nobody else is around
Inappropriate Verbal Interactions
Adults should not:
- Discuss their sexual encounters with you or ask you about yours
- Ask you to keep a secret
- Tell you crude or sexual jokes
- Overshare their personal history
- Comment on your physique or body development
- Yell or scream at you
Examples of the “Personal Space Bubble” Across Cultures
Below you will find helpful generalizations about the “personal space bubble” across cultures that can help prepare you for what to expect from your host family in this regard. Remember, not everyone fits the cultural norm in their country of origin, and the norm may vary depending on the context. The most important thing to keep in mind is that you each respect the other’s wishes regarding physical proximity and contact.
Gestures Across Cultures
The meanings of common gestures vary across cultures. Some gestures that are acceptable in one culture can have a very different meaning in another culture. The following chart illustrates some of these examples. When interacting with and gesturing to your hosted participant, always check that they understand your meaning. If your gestures elicit a negative response, please talk with your participant and find out what that gesture means in their culture.