Sexual harassment has become a major issue in the U.S. It is now accepted that certain types of
sexual advances, either verbal or physical, are seen as inappropriate and, if you initiate these
advances, you could be breaking the law. For an exchange student, this can mean being expelled
from school, speaking to the police, and even being sent back to your home country.
Because of differing cultural perspectives on sexual harassment, it is important for
participants to be aware of what is considered to be proper behavior. Below are a few tips:
• Treat everyone you meet with respect.
• Listen to what people are saying to you and act accordingly. In other words, if someone says no,
you should assume he or she means it!
• Get to know your liaison and other respected people in your host community. They will be able to
provide you with valuable information about what is and what is not acceptable.
• When a person asks you to stop making sexual advances towards them, it is your responsibility to
stop. Likewise, if you ask someone to stop, they should listen. “No means no” is a phrase being used a lot in the U.S. to encourage people to speak up if they want to stop unwanted advances. It is also being used to educate people to stop making advances
when someone say “no.”
Protecting Yourself from Sexual Abuse
During your AFS experience, you'll have many new and different experiences. Yet some
things remain the same:
• Your body is always yours.
• You always have the right to say no.
• If something doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't.
• If a friend gives you cause for concern, get involved.
This information is designed to help you learn more about sexual abuse, how to prevent it, and
where to go for help. Be sure to speak with your host family, your liaison, or another adult you
trust about keeping yourself safe in your community. Review the Your Body Your Safety Pamphlet for more guidance.
What constitutes sexual abuse?
As defined by the U.S. Army Sexual Assault Prevention & Response Program, sexual abuse is:
“A form of gender discrimination that involves unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature. Sexual abuse occurs when a person is subjected to offensive, unwanted, or unsolicited comments and behavior of a sexual nature that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment.”
Regardless of where you travel on your exchange program or the customs of the country in
which you're living, you can be sure of one thing: your body belongs to you. While it's rare that
someone will attempt to abuse you, it's important for you to be alert, aware, and informed about
sexual abuse prevention. Do NOT allow anyone to do anything to you that does not feel right to
you, regardless of who they are — male or female, young or old, what they do for a living, or your
connection to him or her.
True or False Quiz
Help protect yourself from potential sexual abuse. Select True or False to each of these
questions. Correct answers are below.
1. True or False: When abuse happens, it is never your fault.
2. True or False: An abuser may discourage you from communicating with your friends, family, and
AFS volunteers or ask that you not tell others about your relationship with him or her.
3. True or False: If someone, especially an adult, buys you an expensive gift and expects you to kiss
him or her in return, you are obligated to do so.
4. True or False: Activities like being forced to look at pornographic books or films or being
photographed in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, are not sexual abuse. For sexual abuse
to occur, you must be physically touched.
5. True or False: If you are feeling uncomfortable because of physical attention you receive from
someone, you should confront that person and tell him or her to stop.
Answers to the True or False Quiz
1. True - If you are sexually abused, it is never your fault. Always expect others to treat you with
respect and dignity. You deserve an environment that is free of sexual abuse or the threat of
sexual abuse.
2. True - One strategy of sexual abusers is to isolate you from your friends, family, and others.
Without the support of others, people feel lonely and often vulnerable. This allows abusers to get
closer to their victims. Expect to have access to your friends and family.
3. False - Some sexual abusers try to make people feel uncomfortable by getting them to do things,
such as kissing, as a way to show appreciation. If you feel pressure to do something you are not
comfortable with, don't do it. By the way, if you don't feel comfortable accepting a gift, you can
say no to that too!
4. False - You don't have to be touched to be sexually abused. Being exposed to pornographic books
or films is another way that an abuser will try to exploit you. Do not tolerate this. Report this to an
adult that you trust.
5. True - Confront any person who is sexually abusing you and tell him or her to stop immediately.
Always tell a trusted adult or AFS volunteer or staff about it as soon as possible.
Tips for Preventing and Dealing with Sexual Abuse
• Remember that it's always ok to say no.
• If you feel threatened, tell an adult that you trust. This can be your natural parents, your host
parents, an AFS volunteer or staff, or anyone else that you feel you can trust and rely upon.
• Never go anywhere with a person you don’t know.
• When you go out, always let your host parents know where you are, where you are going, when
you plan to return and anytime your schedule or destination changes.
• Be a friend to a friend.
• If your friend tells you that they are being sexually abused, the first thing to do is listen. Be patient
and respectful. Try not to judge or question your friend’s behavior. Believe what your friend is
telling you.
• Go to an adult you trust for advice and help. Involve a parent, teacher, or another adult that you
trust. You will not be “snitching”. You'll be helping to stop or prevent your friend from being
abused.
• Talk to your friend and try to get them to talk to an adult. Offer to go with your friend if they feel
nervous about talking to an adult. Report the abuser to an adult whom you trust.
How to Get Help
Local AFS Volunteers and AFS Staff are available to help you in the event of sexual abuse that
you or another participant has experienced. Contact your liaison immediately if you feel scared or
concerned. You can find their contact information on your AFS ID card. You can also reach AFS-USA
Support Staff 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-AFS-INFO (800-237-4636, ext. 9).
In summary, AFS and your host family have put in place rules and guidelines to help keep you safe
while on program. It is your responsibility to follow them, to avoid risky behaviors, and to ask
questions or share concerns about anything that may impact your safety while on program. Your
well-being is our top priority and AFS volunteers and staff are here to support you through any
challenging times.